Hello all!
Time for an update on the state of the eDates. I just had to
share this sweet little exchange I had with a charming fellow from
match.com.
His basic information is as follows:
40-year-old man
North Hollywood, CA, US
Seeking: women 26-45
It started off congenially enough with the following message:
From: keystoyour
To: noetical
Date received: August 11, 2005
Subject: six degrees of separation...
Have you ever heard that all human beings on earth are at least sixth cousins, it's a mathamatical thing. There was a movie a few years ago which linked all charactors who were randomly together.
"Six Degrees of Separation".
I have some really interesting reletives on the family tree.
How is your summer going? You just look like someone who could be a joy to be around.
Rob
Nice enough note. I just didn't feel it after reviewing his profile, so I clicked on the "no thanks" option available to me. To be honest with you, I don't really know what I checked off when I sent that (there are several choices, including "you live too far," "I'm not attracted to you," "I've just met someone," etc.) Whatever it was, it was something benign, as I have no desire to hurt the feelings of someone nice enough to express interest in me. That said, if I don't think we'll click, I figure there's no sense wasting his time or mine. So match.com sent him an email that said something like this:
noetical says:
Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we're just not a good match. Good luck in your search!
Don't get discouraged!
With millions of singles on Match.com, you're bound to find a few that aren't right for you. Don't let that stop you; instead, search for and contact other members who are waiting to meet you!
Tip: To increase your chances of making a true connection with someone, click Do we match? when viewing that member's profile. You'll see how well the two of you match up by comparing your profiles. If you're convinced you'll make a connection regardless, explain why in an email!
Most guys just move on...some even reply and say "good luck!" This guy...not so much. Here's the next email he sent me:
From: keystoyour
To: noetical
Date received: August 28, 2005
Subject: What the fuck? How could you have enjoyed travel with such a weak mind.
Have you read John Irving or is dropping his name make you more worldly.
Why dont you just be real and come out with saying, "Sorry your looks don't appeal to me." That would be more understandable. The Mayflower obviously was full of Brittish citizens who were unwanted by their own countymen, not heroes... I helped you drop all that pretentious shit.
What the fuck? I still can't believe that these guys think it's important to make me feel like shit just because I don't want to date them. Fortunately, I now have a response to this sort of behavior that is easily customized. (For those of you who have already read my letter to my last disgruntled suitor, this one is mostly the same.) This was my reply:
From: noetical
To: keystoyour
Date received: August 29, 2005
Subject: RE: Weak Mind
Dear Rob:
I'm not sure why you felt the need to be mean to me in response to my "no thank you" note. I really can't remember what reason I gave for not wanting to communicate with you. I try to send SOMETHING to anyone who writes to me because I think it's rude and unkind to leave someone hanging, wondering if their note was read at all. My summer has been kind of crazy (my step-father just had open-heart surgery, my grandmother died last week and my sister got married three weeks ago.) This deluge of family events and resulting obligations has made it more difficult to write personalized notes to everyone I don't feel would be right for me, whatever the reason may be.
The thing is, not everyone is for everyone...that's why this is so hard, but the least we can be is kind to each other in the process. I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings for me to say I don't think we're "a match," or for doing it without writing another book. Admittedly, without access to tone and inflection, online "connection" often leads to somnolent dissatisfaction as each person struggles to decipher with accuracy the oblique code that passes for language in the e-dating game. ASCII is hardly known for its pellucid nature, and yet it is in this overcast terrain that we grope clumsily for that mythical creature "the love of our lives." It's hardly surprising that more often than not, the creatures who pass through our fingers here sometimes turn out to be inapt. The fact that I (or anyone else) have decided that you are not for me does not mean that I think you're not an interesting or attractive person (although admittedly, your response has made me think you are rather spiteful and bitter,) it simply means that I am pursuing connections with other people who better suit the unique person that I know myself to be.
Believe me, LOTS of men reject me...and many of them do it by ignoring my emails and don't even have the courtesy to say "no thank you." So take this as a lucky break that you don't have to waste your time on a woman who ultimately wouldn't be right for you and move on to someone who will. She'll be lovely and will appreciate you for everything that you are. Please be nice to her!
Best, A.
He never responded, but his profile has been "hidden" since he sent the last note. I also forwarded his email to the match.com abuse team with the following note:
Dear Abuse Team:
I wanted to notify you that this man sent me an abusive email in response to one of your “no thank you” notes. I think you should keep an eye on him, as he might very well be unstable.
Thank you.
Best, alita. (noetical)
So there you go. I hope you enjoyed your look into the fun and friendly life of a modern single woman. At least this exchange was more interesting than most that originate from that site!
Recent Comments
Simple Fix for Blocking #MonkeyButler Bots
Simple Fix for Blocking #MonkeyButler Bots
Simple Fix for Blocking #MonkeyButler Bots
Simple Fix for Blocking #MonkeyButler Bots