Quotes for the Day

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.”
—Albert Einstein

“Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him all weekend.”
—Zenna Schaffer

“Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.”
—Mark Twain

“You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.”
—Steven Wright

“You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.”
—Jeff Foxworthy

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”
—Lily Tomlin

“Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.”
—Leslie Nielsen

“Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do”
—Oscar Wilde

“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”
—Warren Hutcherson

“Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person.”
—François de la Rochefoucauld